Judah Blue Winter Files is 4 years old today!

Boy did he know what was happening when he saw the gift on the table this morning! He & Sebastian had a hard time watching Willow open her birthday gifts two days ago. Judah has played with them as much as she has. When Willow & Judah take a bath they both play with Willlow's new Dora bath toy. They take turns brushing her hair. That toy is basically Dora's head with very strong suction cups on the back so you can stick it to the side of the tub. The streaks of color in her bangs go from purple to pink when her hair gets wet and the tattoos on her face appear as well (not sure what provoked that idea, haha).

Judah got some pretty cool gifts tonight. This morning we gave him a plane I had picked up at Target for less than 2 dollars, reading "AS IS" on the box. It looked like a neat toy & hadn't even been opened, so I snatched it up. Judah played with that thing all day today! Nearly every piece can detach & re-attach somewhere else, so you can build it in many different ways. It even comes with a yellow dinosaur. ?? Both of the boys loved it.

This evening Scott came home with Jamba Juice smoothies. They make one that is gluten/casein free. He took the lid off of Judah's and stuck a big "4" candle in it, resting it on the edge of the cup. Judah loved it, although he was drinking it before we even got the candle lit. He proceeded to try & drink everyone else's after he finished off his! One of his favorite gifts was the Polar Express soundtrack. The kids LOVE dancing to that movie, so I suggested to my dad that he send that to Judah. Judah was ecstatic! We had to play it immediately. All of the kids danced like crazy. We made a video. That would have been plenty for Judah to have been completely overjoyed with his birthday evening. Getting him to open more gifts was a bit troublesome, but we finally made it through them. He relished in each one, except the musical toothbrush, which he looked at and immediately set down on the table. Since some of his presents were packaged in boxes (money jar, Krazy Kar, air hockey game), he decided to stack them all up and crash them with his body. Crashing is one of his favorite activities. Later he laid the huge Krazy Kar box flat on the ground, jumped off of it and did a somersault on the floor. He did that over & over. That kid was elated. He carried his new Thomas movies around most of the night, attempting to open other gifts while he held onto them.

Sebastian was extremely upset that we weren't able to try out the Krazy Kar tonight. Explaining to him that it had to be built first didn't prove to be helpful. Daddy took him to his room so he could calm down. I made the gigantic mistake of turning up the Polar Express soundtrack so Judah & Willow could dance some more. I was trying to make sure Sebastian's crying & screaming was not going to overtake the joy of Judah's night. Judah tends to get upset or concerned when something is wrong with his siblings. Of course the loud music made Sebastian more upset because he assumed he was missing out on fun. It was a very hard night for him. It was a great morning and afternoon for him though! He was extremely helpful today. It is so refreshing that he would rather play and make inventions than watch TV.

Judah sometimes you soak up 110% of my attention because it is so fascinating to watch you learn & grow. You have a big heart, a genuine love for people (even strangers), bright eyes & the cutest laugh & smile I've ever known. You are best friends with your brother and sister. You love going to school. The minute your friends walk in you wave and say "hi!!", completely filled with excitement and anticipation of your day. You are fearless. Fun beckons you. Wherever there are kids you must immediately join in. You remind us all that communication does not come only in the form of speech. Your unspoken messages are melodious to me. You are my windfall of  hope. You are a child most people could only dream of parenting. Your uniqueness and mystery have opened my eyes to the beautiful bewilderment that is life. You've bestowed upon me a perspective that I never would have known. You've taught me patience. You've taught me that there is absolutely no reason challenges should push you down. As a toddler you have endured more life lessons than most people endure over a lifetime. And you've held on and never given up. And it breaks my heart and it makes me so much stronger just knowing you. The rest of the world should be so lucky. I love you so much.

Schedules to the Wind!

Dad called today to send birthday wishes to Willow. He is in West Plains burning leaves with Nick & Boone outside of his new home. I could hear in his voice that he is having a fun day. I wasn't able to talk with Nick or Boone, but Dad did mention that he would like to bring Boone out to this side of the country at some point. Of course that is up to Boone's folks. We need to see him one way or another, the kids would have so much fun & I'd love to get a kick of Missouri (without residing there). As father and son, Nick & Boone are great friends. Being around them is always comical, witty entertainment.

This is the day in between birthdays. Judah continues to play with Willow's birthday gifts. She continues to be annoyed with him about it. We Skyped Meemaw & Granddad this evening. Judah was very interactive with them, which doesn't happen often. He showed them many of his items he had nearby: a movie, a Wubbzy book and a Wubbzy stuffed animal. He held them up to the camera and slowly turned them from front to back a few times. He's a natural. Willow put on Sebastian's unbelievably frightening, contorted zombie face, mask. She looked hilarious sitting in the middle of all the human beings.. a tiny, little, grotesque, pointy-nosed, fright.

We are having a hellish time trying to get Judah to potty lately. It's probably our fault. We are not good at staying on a strict schedule. We are not good at staying on a loose schedule!! I get winds of motivation and ideas and then downfalls of stress and racing to keep my children alive. Sebastian often brings home notes from school. These are often notes to inform us that he needs to bring something to school. I always read them and share them with Scott, but often we forget to do them. I don't know how many we've missed for Judah. Last year we were never asked to bring anything to his class! This year we are supplying all of his snacks. His teacher sends out a "schedule" every month. It is usually a brightly colored piece of paper. Decorative font translates activities, themes and concepts they will be working on. There are always charming illustrations illuminating it. It is something to put on the fridge. Last month I happened to flip it over to the calendar side (after Thanksgiving break had just started). Apparently we were supposed to provide 2 vegetables at the beginning of the month. His class consists of about 4 kids (although the teacher claims she has 7). So if we don't bring something for Judah's class it is likely vividly apparent. During the IFSP meeting, the teacher mentioned the monthly paper she sends out. Scott blurted out, "You send out a schedule??" I whisper to him that it's on the fridge. So yah, that's us as parents.

Happy Birthday Willow Midnight Seraphina Files!

Willow Midnight Seraphina Files turned 2 years old today. She came into this world gliding into a vessel of warm water. It was so peaceful, she didn't even cry. But I sure did! I screamed the hardest I have ever screamed in my life. That pain is an eternal memory. It was as if I could feel each individual fiber of my body stretching and snapping apart, one right after the other. It felt like I was on fire. She was my first "natural" birth. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. I wouldn't even call it pain. It was more along the lines of an eruption of torture.

Eeek, sorry.

Happy birthday Willow bug!! You are such a sparkle of pleasure, hilarious celebration & play. You have a smashing personality! You absorb the world and store it away in your treasure box, the spill over is divine. You have itchy trigger finger wisdom. All day long you are on the go, seeking adventure and enlightenment.

We had a small party for you today. I forgot to put your birthday dress on you, but your rainbow, monkey Dora shirt covered in glittery stars and your velvety lavender pants were a much better match to your personality. Gramma & Papa attended. They had spent the day with Sebastian and Judah. They took them to Home Depot to do a workshop early this morning, where the boys built small toolboxes (very cute). At your party we ate cupcakes that Daddy loaded down with icing. Mommy & Daddy took lots of pictures & made lots of videos. The boys were enormously jealous that it was your birthday. Sebastian and Judah were trying to open your presents. Judah kept hitting your cupcake with his toy and you would sternly say to him, "Judah! No!!"

I'm glad you liked your Dora bath doll. Judah loved brushing her hair. The Lalaloopsy doll was my favorite gift to you. The Minnie Mouse slippers will be fun for you & the fuzzy farm animal puzzle didn't seem to interest you at all. We'll have a party a week from today for you and Judah both.

 

E.T.

The kids watched E.T. for the first time today. It was the first movie I ever saw in a theater - and apparently it still makes me cry!! Sebash loved the flying bikes scenes. Willow was busy doing other things, as usual, feeding her doll cheesecake and following me around. I didn't realize how much the movie had affected Judah. He was kind of in a daze when it ended. We had dinner immediately after and he would not eat. He walked up to me with tears beginning to drip from his eyes. I asked him why he was sad a few times. He looked over at the tv every time. I didn't mean for that to happen. And had totally forgotten about the penis breath comment!!

Krazy Kar!!

We chowed down on chicken Kiev and cheesecake for Thanksgiving at Gramma and Papa's. The kids are still struggling with hand, mouth, foot virus. Sebastian seems to be the most recovered. Judah and Willow were crashing out 2 hours after we got there. They all ate well though. Everyone was very happy. Judah was very engaged. Sebastian sat at the head of the table and read his cardboard "I am thankful for" sign. I recorded. Willow stood in her chair eating string cheese and occasionally sitting in Gramma's lap. She dropped her spoon and told Judah to get it, and he did! All 3 of the kids were posing for pictures after dinner. That was rare!!

Scott got in some Black Friday shopping - buying necessities and gifts. We got Judah a "Krazy Kar". It should be a great sensory toy for him that they can all enjoy. We got Bash a scooter and Willow a giant Sully (one day shopping in Walmart with Daddy she wouldn't let it go and held onto it in the cart the whole time).  

 

Cattle

It's hard to blog from my phone. Often the kids force us to bed early, usually by waking up and not going back down. Willow is laying in bed with me. She is suddenly peaceful here. Judah is snugly here, and Sebastian is excitement sky rocketing across the room when he is here. Mommy and Daddy's bed is a fortress they could play in forever. Ironically enough that's where they originated!

Talked with my dad on the phone today. He's leaving for KC tomorrow. He'll probably stop to see Tim, Erin and Olive and then drive on to West Plains, where he has purchased his next home. He was disappointed to hear about the IFSP, particularly because he sees Oregon as being a progressive state. I told him they have money problems, like everywhere else. When it comes to helping a little boy learn how to talk though, money shouldn't be anywhere near the vicinity of that situation!! Money problems can stop everything. They can throw us to the ground. Have you ever noticed though, that the answers, the solutions, the ways to make it a little better.. those always come from loved ones, the ones who are incapable of just walking on by. They will find a way to help you back up.

Black Friday is everywhere, slamming you in the face around every corner. Businesses take advantage, employees are forced to stay up all night.. selling blu-ray players to people at 4 in the morning. To be in it as a consumer is bizarre. Its exciting, but to find yourself in Wal-mart at 4 in the morning making what feels like a very difficult decision to fore go a shopping cart because you know that without one you may stand a chance to get through the uproar of cattle pushing their way to get closer to the teenage employee who is up at 4am in the morning waiting frightfully for the minute to hit when he must cut into the 20 layers of gigantic shrink wrap, unveiling a pile of second class blu-ray players to a salivating horde of vertebrate who are going to fight to the death to save 25 dollars. When you find yourself in that pact.. well that's the exciting part (at the time). The bizarre part is, of course, what just happened. It is something you will never truthfully share with anyone except the person you went with. Black Friday then becomes a dirty little secret. One year later though, it will feel completely worth it to enter back into the herd and fight to the death for a blender. It's some kind of really unexplainable phenomenon. Its not just nutty people who do this, its everyone, all walks of life. The only thing I can see to compare it to is addiction.

Judah's ringworm is gone. His new doctor checked him today, gave us instructions on how to care for his rash, which is halfway down his leg now. She gave us other advice to help him too. Sebastian has hand, mouth foot virus. It started about 3 days ago. He goes up and down throughout the day. I give him ibuprofen - he usually needs it twice a day. He has bumps on his hands and feet and pain in his mouth. He gets very tired and very sad that it hurts to eat. I've got to look for some medicine that could help his mouth. Judah hasn't been feeling well tonight. He was laying on the couch, he let me know (I think) that the inside of his upper lip was hurting. Gave him Tylenol. High temp and trouble sleeping too.

Judah has been following direction and vocalizing a lot. He was "scripting" Wubzy, his new favorite, and the words coming out of his mouth were sometimes crystal clear. I'm watching miracles, hearing miracles.. He is working very hard. He is getting very close to being able to dress himself completely, socks and shirt over head are the only 2 that challenge him. We haven't worked on those much though. Robin was right, if he knows I'm not going to do it for him like he is used to, then eventually he will do it. TWICE today I told him it was time to potty and he went on his own. One of those times he was kicking and screaming on the floor for a loooong time. I left to use the other bathroom and when I came back he was on the potty, calmly and quietly doing his business. The other time he also did it when I wasn't in the bathroom. We are learning!!!

Chicken Kiev and gluten-free cake for Thanksgiving tomorrow - gluten free is progressive dad, we are doing our part!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Get rested up for Black Friday. And keep it to yourself for Pete's sake!!!

Inconceivable Feast of Special ed Practicum

That was the definition of the acronym IFSP this evening as we had our 2 1/2 hour meeting that will be extended into next week. They all took copies of the 5 typed pages of requests, concerns, questions and goals we brought to the table. We definitely got their attention. They said the head honcho will have to be present at the next meeting. They couldn't even offer to give us the weekly class evals we requested and the teacher said that it was difficult to write in his communication notebook everyday.. Which is usually an offering of about 3 sentences that usually don't tell us anything helpful. The testing we requested they told us could not be done for another 2-4 years because of his age. They thought 30 mins of speech therapy a month was adequate. We made strong points and didn't give in. When they used the excuse our last team always used about speech therapy being integrated into the classroom by the teacher and aides, I told them about his speech therapy session today. I told them I videotaped 5 minutes of it.. And he showed progress and motivation in just those five minutes. I told them that speech therapy isn't taking place if there is no one there who is qualified to administer it. Then I looked the speech therapist in the eye and said, "He needs THERAPY."

I'm deeply saddened that it looks like we are heading into battle. Time doesn't need to be wasted, just help him. Do your job.

At one point the autism specialist brought up funding as a reason speech therapy would be so limited. We have learned that money can never be an excuse to not administer services. We recorded the entire meeting. All the way down to the therapist telling us how much info and support she gives out to the parents. When she finished I told her that I had received ONE note from her on Judah's progress (which was less than half a sheet of paper of some written notes) and that it was because I just happened to run into her that day. We were just honest. When you ask services of people that by law they should already be doing, that are part of their job, that are listed on the company's website as services offered.. Shouldn't they apologize and hope you don't take further action... Shouldn't they just get to work??!

We talked for a bit about services offered to families - we have never been offered any in the over a year he has been there - the autism specialist mentioned a workshop coming up at Swindells. I looked at the speech therapist and said, "Is that part of the 3 session workshop I ran into you at?" I searched to find that training online, by myself. And it was a very helpful workshop. They could have been giving us info on those workshops for over a year!!

A good rule of thumb.. NEVER have an IFSP meeting on your wedding anniversary. We went to dinner at Bentleys.. Mahi Mahi and steak. We haven't done that in so long. It was nice, very nice. Love you babe - 5 years going on 60 - diamond anniversary!!