Rocket

I wrote this all VERY QUICKLY, please forgive me.. it's not edited at all. I didn't even read through it twice.. got lazy pretty quickly with my writing. I just wanted to get everything out that I could remember today & I have things to do tonight. It was a really incredible day for Judah. We all got to see it.

So "blown away" became blasted away like a rocket!!" today. I'm going to attempt to list the new & different Judah events witnessed today.

When we dropped Sebastian at school this morning, Judah & Willow both waved as he exited the van. Judah said, "Bye!!!" He actually didn't miss a "bye" for the rest of the day. He told us all "hi!" when we picked him up from school.

Today was Judah's first day back to school after the break. He ran down the sidewalk & up the ramp to his classroom, with Willow running behind.. just as elated. When I reached them at the door Judah said, "keys", asking for my keys. I handed them to him & he tried to use them to open the door, haha. One of the assistants opened the door & he tried to hand her my keys! He was determined to get his backpack handle pushed down & to hang it correctly in his cubby. The assistant wanted to help but he wouldn't let her. They really shouldn't be jumping in to help until he asks for help. Willow tried to get her coat off, as she always does, hoping to stay for school. I told Judah, "Bye bye!" and he waved and said, "Bye!!!" The assistant told me I had to stay until the teacher arrived, so Judah & Willow played in the sensory room. Teacher arrived & I said my goodbyes again. I told him "love you" as well. He repeated it ALL back to me!! Not clearly, but I could tell that was what he was saying. And waved! Holy jizamoley!! I sort of didn't want to leave him at school, I felt like being selfish & taking him with us so I could see how far this progress was going to extend today.

Willow & I met a lady to sell her some things today. Selling has been going well lately. I'm trying hard to organize the house, which always leads to a million discoveries.. and a million treasures that need to move on to someone else's home! The other day I sold 2 boxes of Willow's old baby clothes for $20 a box. They got a screaming good deal, while I moved out 2 boxes of unusable items, made some $$ and helped someone else at the same time!

After that we headed to Wal-Mart to get antibiotics for Scott, who just suddenly got really sick last night. He was shaking so hard at one point the bed felt like it was vibrating. His teeth started to chatter & his skin felt like it was on fire. He is just now starting to feel better & feels able to eat (hasn't tried yet). It's 9:30pm. Doc thinks it's either the flu or an infection. He was this sick a month ago as well, with very similar symptoms.

During the drive to Wal-Mart I just lost it. I started crying about Judah's struggles & Scott being sick. The last time Judah had a pretty good progress jump was also on a day I was very concerned & sad. It's like he knows.

Judah was making it clear today that he understood me. He went right to the potty when I asked him at times. I was telling him it was time to eat (in a different way) & he still understood. I said things in new ways at different times throughout the day & he understood. When he couldn't do what he wanted he would have a small tantrum, but that was it. He understood when I told him we couldn't do whatever he was wanting to do.

He told me to "stop!" quite a few times today. It was appropriate every single time.

This morning he woke up with blood covering half of his face (bloody nose in his sleep). He immediately got the step stool in the bathroom & looked at himself in the mirror, studying his face and saying, "Ohhh noooo".

We were on the go so much today that we couldn't do much real potty training. He was in a diaper quite a bit and not getting regular potty breaks. When I did get him in underwear it was a little damp once & then another time he was wet all the way down to his ankles. I tried to gently show him that he was wet & tell him we wanted to stay dry. He was very focused on something else. Eventually I learned that he was ignoring me as he finally looked over at his pants, felt them and then got very upset.. hitting himself on the head. I shouldn't have told him that.. I've been told to praise him when he does good but not to say anything if he is wet. I hugged him many times & told him it was okay. He was very sad. His shirt was covered in baby food & it rubbed up against my sweater. I instinctively checked my sweater to see if it was dirty & told him I was looking for baby food on my sweater, pointing to his shirt. He looked down, felt his shirt and again got very upset, hitting himself. He was telling me over & over that he was very aware of what had happened & likely that he was feeling like he had failed. Thankfully later there were many moments of praise to be had.

Typically we have to hold him down to get his reflux med into him. Today I just held him gently and held up the plastic syringe. He smiled and clenched his teeth, letting me know he was going to do his usual, but this time he thought it was funny. He willingly opened up his mouth to take his medicine TWICE and then the third time put up a small fight, but eventually took it. He got a big Angry Birds sticker for that one! Again, miraculous. Very thankful for that one!! The reflux med is the only thing that has changed really.. I am wondering if that has helped him feel better & helped him progress? There is obviously no way of knowing.

It was like he just "woke up" today.

I helped him get his pajama shirt over his head this evening, laid his pants on the floor and walked away. He was frustrated. I heard him say "help!" a few times. He never came to find me though. And eventually he got himself completely dressed. I pointed out to Sebastian that Judah had just dressed himself. "Good job getting dressed Judah!!" he said. He was also taking note of Judah's talking & progress today.

Sebastian walked Judah into speech therapy today since it was raining and I was getting Willow out. The speech therapist said Judah repeated everything she said today. She was very impressed. I forget how she put it, but she basically said that he is starting to talk.

He ran into the bathroom during one of the underwear times in the day. I followed him in and asked if he needed to go potty. He got on the BIG POTTY and went! Willow had gone on the big potty earlier, I have a feeling that was what that was all about. But initiating the bathroom visit was huge.

Sebastian got up, dressed & ate breakfast this morning much quicker than usual. Typically morning is very slow-motion for him. He was rewarded with a new Spider-man toy. Sick Scott had told him that he needed to do everything on his own, that Mommy had too much to do.

Sebastian was very concerned about sick Daddy today. We walked away from Scott, who was lying in bed, and Sebastian whispered to me, "Is he going to die?"

While in the car Sebastian began talking about wanting to put flowers on someone's grave. He asked if we could and Judah responded, "No!" I told him that we could put flowers on his Great Granddad's grave in Missouri. Granddad passed away?!?! I cleared that one up very quickly. He was so upset!

Yesterday Judah said, "car keys". That was a first. He did this during a drive & when we got home. He likes to take my keys when we get home & pretend to unlock the door. He hates it when Willow gets them though. When we leave sometimes he will hand me my purse.

When I asked him to say "more" today he looked me in the eye and said, "please".

Judah initiated throwing the football with Daddy tonight. He threw it correctly and was catching it as well. Usually he doesn't like to play catch & he is never able to catch the football. I think he caught it every time tonight.

They are all growing! Willow can barely reach the faucet in the bathroom now while standing on the step-stool. Judah can now reach it very well. Sebastian started using the adult potty ring today & his feet touch the floor!

All three of them love to play in the sink. Tonight Willow was doing just that, so I took advantage & combed her hair. It was very tangled, I combed it for quite a while. She started to get down and I said, "All done?" She said, "All done.." (somewhat annoyed) and walked out of the bathroom. Ha ha! She never chooses to leave when she is playing in the sink!

Judah & Willow were sitting in the computer chair watching a Sheryl Crow video on the computer. I left the room for a minute & then heard Willow crying. I came in to find her under the desk, very upset. I asked Judah what had happened & then asked Willow. I asked her if she was hurt. Neither one of them gave me any real responses. Judah then got down out of the chair and said, "Hug?" and gave her a hug. Then he climbed back up into the chair & sat down. When he hurts someone I ask him to hug the person. He understands that now, but I always have to tell him and typically have to physically start the hug. So this was really good. I don't even know that this was his fault.

I cleaned out the boy's closet tonight. It is the cleanest it has ever been. I'm not sure Sebastian is too thrilled as I took out all of the art stuff (which filled an entire bin). Now his things are manageable, viewable and useable. I told him that we are going to make an "art spot" where we can put all of the art supplies.

Bash asked me if I could go to the store tonight & buy a gift for Karla! haha. He's been talking about making her one for the past 2 days. He said he didn't get a chance to ask her what she likes today, haha. He talked about making her a flower today. He made a snowflake tonight but he didn't want to give it to her. He was very disappointed in the snowflake he made at school, which was quite cute. I praised him very much and he suddenly became happy about it. So sweet to see. The other night Sebastian told Daddy that the last cookie was for him. Scott told Sebastian how very, very nice that was and that he wanted him to have it. Sebastian again, so proud, glowing. I think I ended up eating it, haha.

Willow says dvd like this.. "dee-bee dee-bee", cutest thing ever.

We were all saying goodnight.. Willow was walking away with me and she says to her brothers, "Nuh nite... bye.." (very seriously) and wanders away, haha.

I told Judah, "Night night! See you tomorrow!" And he said the same back to me! Not clearly, but I could tell that was what he was saying. The kids & I didn't get to lay down together tonight. Judah came in to see me & Willow laying down. I told him he had to go to "Judah's bed". He said, "night, night" and waved bye, completely understood and was not upset in the least. Then he did a tornado jump like Bash always does when he leaves the room at night - which I have never seen him do before.

Like I said, blown away just doesn't describe it anymore!

update: Scott made it for 2 hours & then couldn't stay awake any longer. He ate and then fell asleep on the couch.. where he's been for hours.. with the dog.


 

Blown Away

Judah is saying more 2 word utterances. Gosh I should have written them down. He was very happy today, imitating many words he heard. I noticed today that Sebastian & Willow both have a very hard time not jumping in when I am asking something of Judah or when I'm just talking to Judah. So another struggle to progress is obviously making it over the hurdle that is brother & sister. This is where alone time would again be very beneficial to him.

Sebastian had a good first day back at school. Boy he was sure talking about Karla a lot on the way home. Apparently he wants to make her a belated Christmas gift. He told me he had forgotten some of his Spanish.

 

I swear Willow just magically took the shape of a toddler 2 days ago. Wham! There it is. No more baby. Sebastian is doting on her a lot lately. Judah watches out for her, fights over toys with her & sometimes can be seen taking a very big interest in her. Those boys love their sister. She seems to look at them as little people that she needs to imitate. Not that she WANTS to imitate, but rather that she has to imitate in order to fit in, as well as experience what life is all about. Her brothers are her prime examples. Her personality without the imitating is hysterical.

 

Still organizing, everybody still freaking out. The kids are very slowly realizing that most of their toys have disappeared. Sebastian asked me earlier, "Where are the Hot Wheels mom??" But interestingly enough he was content when I showed him that Judah had three of them. I've caught Judah digging for toys as well. The upside is that now they are utilizing the play room, as well as playing with new toys. The new toys are helping them learn & reminding them that playing together is fun.

 

Gosh, Judah just blew me away with the talking today. He goes back to school tomorrow. His teachers may be a tiny bit flabbergasted.

Change is Alarming.

"Mom, what are you doing?? You are going to get rid of my dresser??! What!?" says Sebastian in a very excited voice. My organizing is really throwing everyone off. Scott's reactions are hilarious & sometimes hugely irritating. Change is disturbing, but at least Sebastian thinks it's fun! I'm pretty certain he is the only one in our house who thinks it's fun. ;)

The new dvd system worked out incredibly well today. Since there are no cases out, there is no way they can be destroyed. Since the dvds are out of reach, there is no way they can be destroyed. Simple thinking. Unfortunately it took us years to figure this out.

Judah said some new words, Mommy & doggie. Mommy probably isn't new, but he is using it on a regular basis. He always says "dog". Willow says "doggie", so he is likely learning from her. The kids & I spent time playing trains in the play room (since we have space now!). Judah immediately started talking. He said, "More track!"when we needed more track. He said a few clear 2 word utterances. Attention, happiness, doing what he loves.. these are things that bring progress. These are the things we know of. I'm sure there are more.

Scott did grocery shopping with Willow & Sebastian today. Sebastian goes back to school tomorrow!

Staying Dry

The kids came home from a very active day with Gramma & Papa this evening. Sebastian immediately noticed how clean the play room was. I had filled 4 bins with toys and left the new toys & the toys they use often. But he did not know this. Scott had taken the toy bins to the garage. Throughout the night Sebastian kept asking me, "How did you get the play room so clean mom??" He cleans it pretty often, so he knows more than anyone what a gigantic endeavor this is. Pretty soon he will figure out what happened, but until then I'm going to relish in the calm before the storm.

Scott cleaned up the mountain of kid dvds on our mantle today. I had ordered dvd cases specifically for this task. Scott filled the cases, putting 5 dvds in each one. The overflowing volcano of dvds is now a short stack of black cases. Again, another miracle happens.

Judah did well at music therapy today. Scott took him. Angie brought Scott in so he could hear that Judah was pronouncing letters as she played the piano using an alphabet app. He was pressing the letter, saying it and even singing along. Apparently he did awesome. Scott said Judah was smiling the entire way up to Portland. He was very playful & happy all morning.

Speaking of morning, Judah woke with a dry diaper this morning!! He was so happy he applauded himself! I had taken him to the potty twice through the night - something we definitely need to be doing more of. I'm sure the morning dry diaper gave him feelings of extreme success & accomplishment. Yesterday he had kept a dry diaper through the entire day! And we were out running around a lot of the day, so he was holding it in until he could get to a potty. That's incredible. He's starting to get good at this! Today, with Gramma & Papa, same story - dry all day long!!

It Doesn't Take a Brainiac.. and humiliating stories.

It doesn't take a brainiac..
People have been planting seeds in my head lately. A friend of mine suggested finding a babysitter/daycare, etc. to watch Sebastian & Willow for 2 hours a day M-Th (Scott telecommutes Friday). This would allow me one-on-one time with Judah (that he needs so badly) on a daily basis. Honestly, never occurred to us. Sometimes all you need is a friend with a functional brain & a working phone to hand you a solution that should have been obvious. We'll see if we can figure out a way to do this.

It doesn't take a brainiac..
We saw the ENT doc this morning. He was not big on the idea of ABR testing for Judah. He thought it wouldn't be helpful & would be a waste of money. He expressed similar feelings towards speech therapy, just as Judah's last pediatrician (Dr. Griffin) had done. I asked him if there were any risks in the ABR testing procedure & if Judah would be in any pain. He answered "no". 

He believes Judah is choosing what he does & doesn't respond to, and that he understands language just fine. I used to think the same, that Judah was just being stubborn. But he's been "stubborn" for a damn long time, don't ya think?? I absolutely believe that he understands language and knows what's going on around him, but I don't think he is choosing to not respond. I think his brain is telling him to respond in a different way than a typical brain would. Temple Grandin points out in her latest book that people with autism often have difficulty making eye contact (very true). She believes their brain tells them to look in a different direction. To them, that feels right. To me, that makes sense. She's been studying the brain for years & has lived with autism for nearly 70 years. So if the brain is at the heart of all this (which many believe & seems to make sense), why not do an ABR test? Why not do an apparently risk-free, pain-free Auditory BRAINSTEM Response test?

The ENT doc also threw into the conversation something we've heard for the past 2 years, from many different people - "He's just a slow starter, before you know it he'll be talking just fine." It's almost insulting to hear that from a doctor at this point. "Eh, he'll be fine.. don't worry about it.." I'm starting to think this guy is chums with Dr. Griffin.

It doesn't take a brainiac..
Anyway, back to the seeds.. Salem has no doctors who specialize in autism, so we have been looking for autism specialists in Portland. We have found them. Most are not seeing new patients, & the one or two (maybe 3) who are have a waiting list that takes a year to get to the top of. We do have a Sept. appointment with one of these doctors. The ENT doctor made a simple suggestion - again, simple solution floating right in front of us & completely invisible to us for some reason (well lots of reasons). He suggested calling doctor's offices in town to see if we could find out what pediatricians (not specialists) have experience in this area. He suggested even trying to seek out doctors that have children who share Judah's diagnosis. We'll do this, soon.

It doesn't take a brainiac..
The ENT doc emphasized teaching a lot, because people learn differently. Finding out how Judah learns would essentially be finding the golden ticket in a Wonka bar. I mentioned that the ABR testing could give us answers that help us figure out how to teach him. He agreed.

By the way, the new therapist Judah may be seeing will work in this direciton- to hopefully figure out how he learns best.

The ENT doc pushed me a bit, pushed my thinking. He was amazed at how Judah could concentrate on a medical diagram on the wall during all of our conversation. He pointed out that most people could not do that. He found Judah's strengths to be amazing. He talked about doctors and told us that he would bet many of them have ADHD, which has essentially propelled them into their career. Obviously Asperger's, same story. Without it we wouldn't have the internet. It's just important to remember that Judah stands in the same light those people do. In a sense, he is blessed. His perception of the world is unique. The ENT doc believes that his strengths will be stronger than most, but at the same time he will have more areas of difficulty & struggle than a lot of people do. The ENT doctor is right about that one.

As far as ENT goes we have hit the end of the road. Now we move on to the Portland doctors.

Judah passed his hearing test today by the way. He always does. The audiologist doctor (yes they do exist) said she could see that the tube in his right ear was open, but the left one she couldn't determine.

Judah weighs 37 pounds and is 48 inches tall. He's 4 years and 1 month.

Sebastian & Willow stayed with Gramma while we went to the ENT. They made cookies & played outside. I got a chance to see Gramma's new ride. It's very pretty.

Sebastian rode in the van for the first time today. He was elated. He made Gramma come out to see him sitting in the back seat (his new seat). He made her open & close the sliding doors.

On the way back from the ENT, Judah and I stopped at Wal-Mart. (I won't make this story too detailed.) I needed to grab some baby food, a timer for the lights and of course dash through the Christmas clearance.

In hardware an employee directed me to the timers. He was already scowling at Judah because he could see that Judah was messing with things he shouldn't be. As the man starts to walk away Judah begins throwing metal pieces of hardware from the bottom shelf onto the floor. The man turns around to see what is going on, stares for a minute, turns around & walks away. Whew.

In Christmas clearance I was able to stop him before he threw the glass ornaments & jars.

Also in Christmas clearance, Judah saw the huge ladder on wheels & couldn't resist. I pulled him off of it a couple of times. He didn't make it up much past the chain. Then I turn around to see him nearing the top of the ladder. I couldn't even reach him!!

Ten minutes later.. Judah sets off the fire alarm... which didn't turn off for what felt like hours.. it was blaring the rest of the time we were there.

As we are checking out I feel something smooth on my belly. Thankfully I had one of my buttons buttoned on my jacket because my pretty new tube top was almost at my waist.

Yes, all true.


 

Riding in Vans With Kids

I've got so many videos on my phone that I'm almost out of space! My phone's performance speed is very noticeably slowing down! Scott was mystified when he saw this.

Judah's OT went well. Today was his last day with Jenny. She has a family emergency and must quickly move to Indiana. Who does that happen to?! I should have gotten her email to get more tips!! :) Judah will see the "new lady" next week.

Potty-training went well for Judah today, no accidents. I'm learning how to read him in this disgusting experience. When I ask if he needs to go potty & he tells me firmly, "No", then that means that he does not want to stop what he is doing, but yes, he does need to potty. That was the case with "no" every single time today.

Sebastian came home with a super duper cute haircut after spending the entire day with Gramma.

Scott went to work and fell into the pile of problems that had accumulated in his absence. He came home overwhelmed. Then he opened a piece of mail only to discover that our insurance will not cover a very expensive treatment that he needs. I think he pretty much mentally collapsed at that point. Very rough news. Health insurance has turned our lives upside down and is now beginning to smear us into the ground. The search for other options begins, once again.

Willow tagged along with Judah all day today - doing what he did & engaging in play with him a lot. They rode in the new van for their first time today. They were so thrilled, all smiles. Today was my first time driving the new van, not the brightest plan after hardly getting any sleep the night before. The van is very illuminated. The light makes it feel bigger. Judah loves the sliding doors, he tries to open and close them. It's a sweet ride, very quiet & seems very easy to maneuver.

Mom & Dave got a new ride too. I haven't gotten a chance to see it yet, but Sebastian got to experience it quite a bit today! He was upset this morning when he realized the other kids would be riding in the new van today & he would have to wait another day for his first ride.



 

You Must Invite Scott Over for Jobs.

Scott goes back to work tomorrow, so the car seat covers had to get done today. After hours of Scott trying to get them on, I took a stab. I was much more successful, but it was hours for me as well. And they are in. I still have to get the seat protectors & kick pads on. Then I'll give Scott the sweaty job of installing four 23 pound child car seats (the heaviest they make) while maneuvering through the inside of the smallest mini van in existence. I can't even imagine how beautiful, yet incredibly dangerous, life was when people didn't know of child safety seats. Getting in & out of the car requires WORK for our family. Having to never install a car seat must have been a dream.

Judah had a good, verbal day. Sebastian asked questions at dinner about how to talk to Judah. Scott told him he could tell Judah "hi". Sebastian did just that and Judah responded back with a "hi". Scott told Sebastian to talk to Judah like he would talk to anyone, because that's how Judah will learn. Great advice, but the thing is, Judah was sitting right there when this conversation was taking place. Talking about him like he is not there is not something we want to teach. It's not okay. I don't know why we do that.

Sebastian was allowed to put a big, plastic storage tub in his bath tonight to use as a boat (no lid of course). He earned this by somewhat cleaning out his closet. He tried. Kid excitement filled the air the minute the other kids saw the boat invention floating around in the tub with Sebastian at the wheel. When Judah walked into the bathroom he went up to take a closer look at the boat & immediately took off all of his clothes. There was no stopping them.. and none of them wanted to get out, ever. It was a very long boat bath.

Willow likes to spit in my face when I put her down. She thinks it is the funniest event imaginable.

New Year's Eve night..
We watched the movie, Jobs. It's all about Steve Jobs. I made it probably half-way through. Scott seemed to be engrossed, like knee deep engrossed, in this movie. He would pause it to fill me in on what was happening in the world of computers at that point in time. He kept it interesting, very realistic & understandable for sure. I would recommend having a good chunk of computer history under your belt before you attempt to watch this very long movie. Or you could just invite Scott over, that would make it even more comprehensible.

When 11:47pm rolled around I said, "Shouldn't we watch the ball drop or something?" Scott responded with an, "I guess.." He obviously didn't want to shut off the movie for a countdown. We watched the ball drop with Carson Daly, as we do every year. After the countdown we stepped out on the balcony to catch a view of the fireworks, sputtering in the hills far away. We are happy to be where we are, fortunate, peaceful & thrilled about the future. Happy 2014!