Saturday, December 27, 2014

All I Want For Christmas Is A Screaming Sully!

I was voice-blogging with my phone but I kept forgetting to post it on here! Right now I'm just sitting at the computer, eating ice cream while Scott works on building Judah's bed. I swear it's like work 24/7 around here. Are we just unbelievably inefficient? Or is life like this for all parents??! I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my days working down a to-do list that never stops growing!

Christmas was pretty cool this year. All of our kids were filled with Christmas excitement. When we put up the tree Judah was just in awe, making sure we remembered the star on top and sitting in front of the tree for quite a while after we were done.. like he was gazing out at the ocean or something. He let us know that we needed presents under the tree. Pointing below the tree & saying, "presents!". Then he ran around the house searching for presents. Finally I just put his present from his teachers under the tree. I thought that might suffice. He saw it & instantly ripped it open. Then he asked & searched for more presents, haha. He pointed to the fireplace and said, "fire?", basically pointing out that we didn't have that Christmas tradition happening either. We can't do presents until the night before. This year we were wise not to mess with the garland & just do ornaments. We decided to let the kids put the ornaments wherever they wanted.. because they were going to get moved around, thrown and sucked on plenty after it was done. And they loved doing that of course. Judah's fine motor skills in unwinding the fine string at the top of many ornaments was pretty amazing. Better than most adults could have done!

Sebastian's behaviors have calmed down some. He's trying really hard. He's seeing a psychologist now. Less than a week after our first session we were having emergency sessions, "interventions". We had two of those. Today Sebastian was with Daddy all day (shopping & home). He threatened to punch Daddy in the face, told him he hated him, threw a wooden train track at him, etc. Sadly, this is much better than usual. Sebastian at our second appointment..

Today Sebastian was telling Daddy that he was not his friend anymore. Willow walks up to Sebastian and loudly proclaims, "Bastian, you're my BEST FRIEND, Bastian!!!"

Daddy is currently building a bed for Judah (see above). It will be a loft bed, a nice espresso colored wood. It's going to be 50 inches high & with a ladder built in. 20 minutes after he started building he said, "Do you think Judah is going to be able to climb down a ladder in the middle of the night?" Judah is up at least twice every night, as is baby sister. So that was the first time THAT had occurred to us, sigh. Maybe we could put Willow in a bed like this just to keep her from climbing into bed with us every night!! Willow is actually sick right now, fever & achy. She says her neck & her feet hurt. Her feet seem to always hurt when she is sick - that's a telltale sign that she is sick. Interestingly Sebastian always says that he "can't walk" when he feels sick. If Judah had more language perhaps he would tell us that his knees buckle when he gets sick? What is happening with our children...

The kids were just exploding with happiness & frenzy on Christmas morning. The gifts weren't really handed out, the kids just started opening. I'm not sure quite how that happened. Daddy had the camera & got some great photos of the kids. Sebastian got a robot dog from Santa.. that he hasn't even taken out of the gift bag! We spent a lot of time trying to find a "robot" for him. He told Gramma not long ago that he has never gotten what he has asked Santa for (which has only been one thing to my knowledge - a really expensive Thomas the Train track piece). There was no way we weren't getting one of the 2 things that he asked Santa for this year! These items were: an invisible sander (a timer with sand, only without the sand so nobody knows when it's done.. duh) and a robot toy (vague!!). So he got a Zoomer, a $70 robotic dog. And that was a GOOD price for one!! We bought that I think literally the day before Christmas. And the Zoomer is still in the gift bag, has never been taken out.. and is now cozied up in the back corner of Sebastian's closet. What is happening with our children.......... You have a robot dog!!!!

Willow got a remote-controlled dog. It's sooo adorable. Unfortunately we didn't have the right size batteries for it - it takes the size that often go in smoke alarms. Who has those on hand?! I need to get her some soon. The battery issue has not stopped her from playing with her dog though!! That's for sure. She's such a dog girl.

I got Sebastian a guitar. He DID take that gift out of the box.. immediately so. Then Daddy decided he was going to tighten the strings. Sebastian stood in front of him and attempted to tighten a couple himself. Suddenly one pops! Busted string. They both immediately look over at me, as if I'm going to flip out or something, haha. At least that was only a $20 item, not a $70 one. I was really apprehensive about getting him that dog, given his level of destruction lately. One day he hurled the recliner into the couch & broke my wooden filing cabinet (as he was shoving it in front of a door to trap Willow & Daddy in a room) all within under 10 minutes. One day he hopped up on the dinner table barefoot & began dancing around our plates. There was an aide here. Daddy wasn't home yet. It's the kind of stuff that would probably be decent entertainment if it were happening in a movie, but in real life it just sucks. Like cars crashing off of cliffs & things like that, cool in movies, crappy in real life.

I should go help with that bed. Scott got me a sewing machine & French press (it reads - "have a GOOD cup of coffee" on the box, haha!) for Christmas. I got him an alien shooting game & a Dungeons & Dragons rule book - items that are completely foreign to me.

The kids all gifted one another this year. Judah's aide wanted him to buy gifts for each sibling and us, which brought about the first year of the siblings gifting one another. He made us a plate - it's really cool. He bought Willow a Sophia doll that she absolutely adores. Sebastian bought Willow an Elsa (Frozen) tiara that goes with the dress I gifted her. Judah got the absolute coolest gift of all, Sully. Sebastian & I found this Sully toy at Wal-Mart the other day and HAD to get it. Check it out:

Sometimes when Willow cries at night, Judah goes to check on her & climbs into her bed to sleep with her.
Willow with a Christmas gift from Meemaw & Granddad. The kids were all fighting over putting this together today.
Tonight Sebastian finally had a meal that he liked/approved of.


And Scott is getting closer to his goal...

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

"You Can't Catch Me, I'm The Gingerbread Man!!"

This is a pic of Judah and I in his class after we finished making his gingerbread man. I brought in the dough for the cookies. The kids cut and baked their own cookies. Unfortunately Judah would not eat his. He was very concerned about the gingerbread man remaining whole. He was a little stressed watching the others chew on Gingerbread feet and gingerbread arms!! They have been reading the story, so gingerbread men were very real to him! Pretty fun way to spend my birthday!!

Thursday, December 11, 2014


Willow was so worked up about going to see Santa. She didn't really understand how to answer the "What would you like for Christmas?" question. I didn't want to force an answer on here so I explained it as Santa giving her a "surprise" (she loves surprises & prizes). I asked her what she would want it to be. I did get a "cat" answer out of her. Her first answer was "a Christmas tree". She had the same answer yesterday. We should really get on that, haha. She also answered, "Pixie" and "a cup" and some other answers that weren't even nouns, haha.

Funny thing was, when we made it to Santa, her chatter suddenly stopped, her smile disappeared & her eyes grew big. She held my hand with one hand, the other hand was shaking a bit at her stomach. She had her pink travel cup around her neck. She had worn this all day long.. something I got for free that seems to be pure treasure to her. She had on her "Santa dress", a pair of black sparkle tights & her shiny black dress shoes. I had brushed her hair (she is beginning to allow this) and put in a headband that had a green & red sparkling flower on top. It had fallen off when I got her in her car seat. She was so concerned that it would be out of place if I put it back on (she had checked in the mirror the first time) that she began demanding a "new one". This Santa visit was SERIOUS STUFF.

She didn't speak a word to Santa. She barely looked at him. She did sit in his lap though and allow her picture to be taken. Last year she wasn't even in the picture - she was actually in the same outfit this year (minus the cute "Mrs. Claus" looking hat). Last year she was so freaked out we just couldn't bring ourselves to force her into a picture.. at your 3rd kid it really doesn't feel like complete necessity anymore. One year we handed Judah to Santa while he was sound asleep. He would have been kicking & screaming had he been awake - he was at that age. People asked us why we weren't waking him up. He was peaceful & with Santa.. and that was the only way that would be happening - if he was asleep! Honestly we felt that we had lucked out when we saw that he had cried himself to sleep while we were waiting in line!

This year Judah was walking in front of the camera.. this happened as probably 7 different kids took turns getting photographed with Santa. He would walk up to the monitor, check himself out, once even turning around & walking away as he checked out his backside! We were at my friend's coffee shop & knew a good handful of the parents there. Santa was in the back, kids were walking up to him when they felt ready or got bored with playing.. there was no line. It was pretty casual. My friend was running the Santa photography. Not one single parent complained to me about Judah walking in front of their kid, not one. Many smiled & talked to Judah. Eventually Judah made it to the Lego table and started chucking handfuls of tiny Legos into the air, like he was crashing cymbals in the sky that suddenly burst into a million tiny Legos rainbowing through the room. On his 3rd time making it to the Lego table to do this, my friend's kid walked over & joined him. Shit. Third time's a charm! We left. He grabbed one of the presents on the tables (decoration) and opened it as we were walking out, a trail of Peanuts wrapping paper behind him. He looked at the empty box as if he knew that's what it would be. He didn't even open it. He just set it on a table & walked away, ha.

Sebastian arrived with Gramma after we got there. Papa arrived. I definitely needed the help. At least 3 of my friends asked me when we got there.. "Do you have all three??" ha. Needless to say I couldn't order a coffee as I had to be on my toes, ready to dash across the room to Judah at any given second. He walked in front of the camera during one countdown and I couldn't pull him away! Thankfully it was my friend's kid.. and she thinks EVERYTHING is funny. The countdown.. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.. and at that instant I yanked him away, the photo snapped and that poor kid's facial expression read, "What the heck is going on??", captured in time as his toddler Santa photo. My friend looked at me and said, "Perfect timing!!" with a huge smile on her face, ha. Some people understand that life is about the moment.. and that was what was happening at that moment. She definitely gets that. Judah did get a photo of his forehead taken as he was up close to the monitor when another countdown went off (no kid with Santa that time). These were all automatically uploading to FB.

Sebastian was very serious talking with Santa, nervous & worried too. He asked for an "invisible sander" (timer that uses sand) and a robotic dog. It wasn't until bedtime that he explained to us that the SAND was invisible, that's all. Of course this was with a, "Duh!!!" attitude. He asked if he would be allowed to keep it if Santa got it for him. ?? On the way home Sebastian let me know that he was very worried about making the "nice" list. He was very worried that he wasn't going to get any presents. He did everything I asked for nearly the first hour after we got home. But bedtime rolled around soon after, unfortunately. And the wild kid appeared. He jumped on Scott's back while Scott was on the floor picking up books. Scott had told him repeatedly that his back hurt right before that. He spit on his neck directly after jumping on him & then dipped toilet paper in the toilet & put THAT on his neck. His madness lasted for hours (last night he didn't go down until 11:30pm due to this stuff!). At one point he landed on Judah's head while Judah was in his bed trying to sleep. I very quickly got Judah out of bed and told him he would be sleeping in my bed. Sebastian asked, "Why does Judah get to do that??!" And I answered, "It's not a privilege. We are keeping him safe. He isn't safe sleeping in here." That just broke my heart knowing that he had just slammed his body on Judah's head. I think he was trying to jump on Scott & Judah was in between them.

Santa photos below... These are the best ones I got of them with Santa. Willow was pushing Judah in Santa's direction at one point, urging him to go see Santa. He did go up & shake Santa's hand, but was barely beside him for 5 seconds. The amount of people overwhelmed him & the excitement of Santa quadrupled that I'm sure. He was constantly on the go.


Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Healed With A Hug

Sebastian behaviors continue to happen every night. He ran to the front door & barricaded it with the dog cage when Scott was arriving home. Sebastian threw toys & food at him minutes later, chasing him around the house. Last night he jumped around in 3 baskets of clean laundry yelling, "Clean laundry! Clean laundry!" Tonight while he was in a 100mph rage he followed Scott into the garage and came back with Willow's brand new Hello Kitty bike.. riding it through the kitchen. I got up from trying to get Willow down. She followed me in to see what was going on.. "My kitty bike!!" This craziness is upsetting in many different ways. When I see it very clearly impacting the other 2 kids, it hurts. He threw a water bottle at Judah tonight. Judah actually came to get me when this madness was taking off. We're looking into therapy.

I told Scott to separate himself from Sebastian.. Sebastian was running through the house with a bag of pretzel sticks, flinging it around in the air. I grabbed Sebastian and held him, he curled up on the floor, halfway pretending to get away and still screaming. I just held him and then started rubbing his back and continued to hold him for a long time. He calmed down. I didn't say a word. My tears started dropping onto the top of his head, but he couldn't see me, he didn't know I was crying. After much more silence, I told him that he was a good boy and told him how great he had done in karate tonight.. we also talked about his behaviors that had just occurred as we sat on the floor & ate pretzel sticks. He was okay after that. I was trying hard to think in "little kid" mode and talk to him in a way that would allow him to visualize and grab a better understanding of what I was trying to get across. It seemed to be sinking in. Of course, I'm sure it's not over. But I think, after our talk, that he may consider thinking in a new direction when he starts getting upset. And I definitely see a new option for us to use in helping him calm down. Kids need to be held & loved.. probably most so in situations you wouldn't assume could be healed with a hug. But as parents, that's something we should all see naturally.. why don't we?? I hope this remains crystal clear in my mind & comes to me naturally when these things happen. I love my kids so much, to the moon and back... and through the galaxies of complications & chaotic situations along the way.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Happy Birthday WIllow! You're 3!

Yesterday was Willow's birthday. I can totally believe that she is 3.. she looks it, she acts it.. well maybe she acts more 4. She's such a doll. I can't imagine being blessed with a more beautiful (inside & out) little girl. I love you so much Willow-bean!!

I just wrote my dad a big email in response to missing his voicemail yesterday. He'd called to wish our little lady a "Happy Birthday". I'm going to just paste that email here - since it has so much of what I would have written in here anyway! :)

Love you Willow!

Hi Dad,
Sorry we missed your call. Willow's party lasted a lot longer than we had planned! We didn't even get around to playing the "Pin the Bow on the Kitty" game I had made! I used that huge dry erase board you brought me as a big magnet for the game. Then I made a big Hello Kitty face out of poster board & put it on the dry erase board. I made bows out of different brightly colored ribbons & hot-glued a strong magnet on the back of each one. Each bow was very different, so the kids could pick the one they wanted and they would also easily be able to point out which bow was theirs at the end of the game.. making it easy to see who had won. The Hello Kitty bow was pretty big, making the game easier for 2 & 3 year olds, & more than one kid could potentially "win".
I was very proud of it.. and it was displayed in front of the fireplace throughout the entire party. But before we knew it, people had to leave to get home for dinner & such.. they'd been at our house for 3 hours! It was supposed to be a 1-2 hour party.
Willow pointed out to us after she saw her first Hello Kitty that Hello Kitty had no mouth! I had honestly never realized that!
Willow loved all of her gifts  - she laid in bed tonight telling me each one and smiling after she said each one. Then I'd name the ones that she hadn't listed and her face would light up again. We tried to keep the party small, but the gift pile still seemed to somehow outnumber the amount of guests we had. She got a bit of each of her favorites- Elsa ("Frozen"), My Little Pony, Hello Kitty & Sophia the First. Judah's aide brought in the biggest gift.. a Hello Kitty shopping cart! Equipped with a cup holder & a cup that looked like a travel coffee cup! J's aide was actually on the clock while she was there - she was a big help! She even did Willow's hair for the party! Judah was pretty overwhelmed by the amount of people and also hurt his leg outside, which only added to the stress I'm sure. I was kind of sad that he was overstimulated when we sang "Happy Birthday" & when Willow blew out the candle. Usually that's his favorite part, but he wasn't able to really enjoy it this time, due to the environment he was in.
J's party will be on Sunday. We will again try to keep it small.. inviting only 3 boys. Two of them are in his class. He's very good friends with his classmates. I've never seen Judah as happy in class as I have this year. He greets his friends every morning when they get off the bus, "Hi Jacob! Hi Ross!" Sometimes they even hug! He greets the 3rd kid too. The 3rd kid has some physical challenges that don't allow him to rough house with the other 3 boys. They are all great friends though. Judah loves to run around with Jacob & Ross in the gym. Scott & I each happen to have a friend with a 4 year old boy who has autism. They both have daughters Willow's age too! These friends were at Willow's party.. we'll invite one to J's party. More kids would just be too much for him.
If you have a chance to call tomorrow, I'm sure the birthday kids would love to hear from you! And Sebastian would love to fill you in on his karate - he seems to be a natural at that! He's actually taking a leadership & black belt class now - the instructors hand picked him from classes of more than 30 kids as a good candidate for those, so we signed him up!
Sorry again about missing your call. Today I was hit with a migraine, just too much going on at once.. this was a bad migraine though, vomiting & such. Scott had to take the day off work. I'm starting to feel much better though.
Talk soon, love, Molly.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Teaching Daddy to Sign (and school meetings)

Yesterday was Judah's IFSP meeting and Sebastian's parent/conference. Judah's annual date is always around the same time the parent/conference meetings are held at Sebastian's school. Last year they were back-to-back as well.

Sebastian's was first. We sat with his teacher for about an hour and talked. His progress report card is showing his proficiency as being limited in most areas, with the exception of counting in sequence and loco motor skills (no kidding). We do have to keep in mind that he is being taught in Spanish his entire day (with the exception of PE & music). The reading proficiency level they believe he is at has nothing to do with how well he reads & comprehends in English. It's his proficiency in reading & comprehending in SPANISH that is being reflected on the progress report. He works hard with Mommy, Daddy & Gramma to keep up with English and is doing well with that. Math is a struggle. It is also taught in Spanish (everything is). We work on that as well. Experience with dual language schools is zero percent for Scott & I. It's beyond challenging to sit down with your kid's teacher (especially your first kid in school) and try to figure out what the odds are of his Spanish taking off (which happens with some kids) and how to comprehend where he is really at because there are so many new scoring systems and confusing levels & his teacher is telling you that he's above some kids & below others.. and her facial expressions don't tell you anything.. there are so many mountains to climb, in every direction you look. Sebastian has no family that is fluent in Spanish. I took Spanish in high school & college and I'm pretty sure Sebastian has already passed me as far as my proficiency goes. I've sat in his class.. there's no way of knowing how he is doing (beyond socializing with his friends).. I can't understand anything she's saying. Today he came home and drew a preying mantis on the window with window markers. He labeled parts of the face & wrote a short paragraph about it. This was all in Spanish. This was not the kid his teacher was describing. That was great to see, but confusing as well.

Judah's meeting began on a super positive note, full of smiles & amazing stories about Judah's progress. When we first began talking about how much he had changed & progressed from last year, his school OT said, "I believe the term 'night & day' applies here." His goals were pretty much all accomplished and we were writing an IFSP for a new kid. It was amazing. Judah's main aide was there as well to chime in. She has connected with his school speech therapist quite a bit. At the meeting, the autism specialist asked her if she would like to meet to talk at some point in the future. His aide was eager to do so.

I just wanted to jot down some of that info in here - the meetings. I was getting a headache during J's meeting and ended up with a bad migraine not long after we got home. Sebastian wasn't feeling well - he actually missed karate. He's pretty awesome at karate. Some of his classes are pretty big & he is definitely one of the best in there. His reading has really progressed as well. Willow's talking is surreal. That pretty much happened over night. She speaks in sentences, coming up with new things to say all day long! I seriously have no idea where she has heard most of the things I hear her say. Sometimes she will ask me, "Does that make sense?" after she says something new, haha. And Judah is a new boy. This entire past week I've been able to ask him things & get a yes or no answer. He enjoys signing & uses his signs throughout the day (for fun & to communicate). He is watching what's going on and learning quickly. He knows his numbers 1-10 and can recognize no matter what the order. He is learning his letters & colors. He loves practicing these things & his sign language. Yesterday he began signing to Scott as Scott was giving him his nightly Qigong massage. Scott didn't understand what the signs were. So Judah grabbed Scott's hands and showed him how to sign what he was signing. He was teaching Daddy!

Sebastian had some outbursts of chaos tonight. He also had some interesting & thought-out apologies. Apologies in general are often surprising to hear from him after these things, so these apologies were really great. He sang some "I'm Sorry" songs for Scott & I, playing the 2 string guitar, which was laying across his lap. He strummed with a green guitar pick that he had just gotten from the music store downtown (his first guitar pick). He had his ball cap on and his head down low as he played. He wrote some apology notes & drawings that he explained were apologies. Those came at a couple different points during the day (they were apologies for smaller events of chaos) & some came in the evening as well. After his biggest outburst (right before bed), he made a chart for me & one for himself - he had drawn rows & rows of empty boxes on each one and put an "S" at the top of his and an "M" at the top of mine. He said those were all of the days we were going to have Mommy/Sebastian time & that we would write in each box what we had done that day. :)

I came up with something I want to make into a bumper sticker someday.. "Save the World, Discover Pinterest" (because you can't throw anything away after you find Pinterest!!!).

Judah has a rash on his face again. I noticed that today. Impetigo may be back but he isn't acting sick.. just seems to have a cold (all of the kids do). Sebastian has an awful sounding cough right now.

Thursday, November 20, 2014


Judah was diagnosed with impetigo today. He came home from school yesterday, crying & just wasn't himself. Once home he was fine for a long time. But by early evening the crying and needing to be held kicked in hard again. He also has a bad cold. Today a painful developed on his cheek and next to his eye. We started Bactroban cream tonight- he'll do that 3x day.

Willow is officially a size 8 in shoes! (Toddler size) Her feet grow so fast! She's almost caught up to Judah! He wears size 9! At only 7 years and 4 months, Sebastian is shooting up through his size 7 pants, some he can still wear though. He's  not quite at size 8. I predict that to be next week. And Judah is over 40 pounds and over 40 inches. He's growing. Even though he has been feeling awful, he's been eating like a horse!! Not grass... just eating a lot. ;)

The other night we were doing Judah's shot. Willow just would not sleep- she followed us in and tried hard to see what we were doing. "What are you doing? What are you doing to Judah??" After we were done she says, "You attacking Judah's body?" HA! Poor little thing was so concerned. :(

Willow took over our bed the other day.


Friday, November 14, 2014

The Woman Behind The Curtain

This is un-edited & I'm so exhausted.. i'm sure there are grammatical errors & what not everywhere.. I just wanted to write. And honestly, I just don't give a shit, but I do hope you get some enjoyment out of this.

I've had this overwhelming feeling of sadness balled up in my stomach the past 2 days. I couldn't tell you why. I could guess, but even when I'm not thinking about those things the feeling sometimes shows up. It's really weird. It really sucks!!!

Judah intentionally pulled my hair today & was intentionally trying to hurt the aide. She said this started a couple of days ago. She has some scratches on her arm.

Sebastian continues to be crazy right before bedtime. He just turns into another kid who doesn't seem to understand what he is supposed to be doing so he chooses the outrageous, harmful behavior instead. It's typically directed at Scott, but affects everyone. I don't understand it. We're trying our best. I feel like we really need to understand it before we can truly help, until then we are pretty much just shooting at a target with our eyes covered. Right now the plan is to have Scott spend more time with Sebastian one-on-one. I am really hopeful that this will bring about a big change. I could see this helping. But again, shot in the dark.. fingers crossed.

I volunteered in Sebastian's classroom for half the day. His teacher gave me a pile of work to take home - things for Sebastian to work on at home to help him practice reading, writing & math. I worked with a little girl in his class today. Her math skills were really close to where his are and most of her numbers were backwards. I paid attention to the behaviors of his peers & saw that most of them were taking things seriously about 15-20% of the time & the rest of the time were just having fun. My point being, they all seemed very similar to what we've been in seeing in Sebastian in a few big ways. His teacher says he is raising his hand more & is more confident. The principal pulled me aside when I was trying to stay within the stream of children heading outside to meet their parents. She told me that she sees him looking much happier and smiling a lot. What I saw of him in the classroom was that he was fairly reserved, looking down most of the time & seemed like he was doing what he was supposed to but wasn't really enjoying the moments in between like most of his peers were. We did music & P.E. next. Those classes were much funner of course. He danced & sang in music. He raised his hand to tell the teacher how the song had made him feel when the teacher had asked the class. "It made me feel tired." haha. Another kid said slowly, "It made me feel... like I was in a spooky house.." First graders have such personality & imagination. I just adore those kids.

During P.E. the kids played games in the gym. They were hysterical! "Where's Waldo" and another one, which Sebastian was picked to be a team leader on. The teachers in both music & P.E. both mentioned to the class that he was being good.. amongst other kids of course, but he was usually mentioned. Many kids didn't have tennis shoes on. They have P.E. four times a week, for just 30 minutes at a time. Every 2 minutes a kid was falling down or sliding across the floor. It was so funny! It looked like they were running on ice! And they were never hurt - they're kids, but they were constantly falling down! The teacher never once checked on any of them.. most of the time the kid bounced back up in seconds, smiling & laughing. But sometimes a kid wouldn't immediately get up but instead lay on the floor, posing dramatically or just taking a breather. Again, I adore these kids.

The aide took J. to Super Bounce. He made a friend and was taking the initiative on encouraging him to go down the big slide.

Last night I went to see Dr. Silva speak. She is the woman doing the Qigong research studies. She's really well known. It was only an hour long & unfortunately there wasn't much said that I wasn't already aware of. Most of what she was saying could have been summed up in 30 minutes. Even more unfortunate was the sound of crickets when she asked if anyone had questions. I was sitting there thinking.. "This is the woman behind the curtain people!!" She didn't even make an appearance at the research meetings - we could only watch her on video! She is highly spoken about & very well known. My kid has a new life because of this massage that she teaches & studies! Why the hell weren't there 20 hands in the air??! It wasn't a large turnout - maybe 50 people? They raffled off a few of her books & dvds. I didn't win any, but I already have both.

Anyway, someone finally asked a question, breaking the dead silence. Then the guy at my table raised his hand. Then more silence. I had been trying to come up with a question, just because I am so fond & enormously appreciative of this woman. I was baffled that she wasn't getting questions!! No one had been asking them throughout the presentation either! So I threw my hand up & decided to act as if I didn't understand what she had said about how it was best for both parents to be involved in doing the massage. I told her that my husband does the massage & that I honestly thought that he did it better. "So you're saying that my child would benefit even more if I did his massage too?" (that was basically my question). Since she looked puzzled when I said Scott did the massage better I felt the need to explain.. "Well, you know, his hands are bigger and stronger.." and before I knew it I was seriously sounding like I was telling the room how handsome & sexy my husband was as I continued to describe his hands & muscular abilities, lol. All I wanted to do was give her a question. She looked more & more confused as I babbled on. The ladies in front of me had turned around to look at me.. but eventually turned back.. likely thinking, "okay.. we won't look at you anymore.. it's gone on long enough.. and now we just feel bad for you", haha. Anyway, Silva responded to me by explaining that sometimes parents are afraid to touch because they too are on the spectrum, they just don't know it. "But I don't get that from you", she said. I was seriously excited because the amazing Dr. Silva was going to analyze me! Holy crap! "From you I see a lack of self-confidence..." and then she added completely unnecessarily, "which is sad". Ha!! She's right, my self-confidence isn't bounding, but I was asking a question in a room full of people, sounding like a complete ass, telling the room how sexy my husband was.. all just to give her a question! I felt bad for her! She deserved questions!! (And I also just wanted a chance to speak to her.) Who does that?!?! And then she announces to the room that I have low self-confidence, and boy is that sad!! hahaaa. She also recommended that I seek help & find a therapist. hahaha, I'm dead serious.

You know what's amazing though. And I swear on everything, I was not at all offended or embarrassed. Her comments just rolled off my back. I was still sitting there listening & engaging. Two minutes later someone mentioned something that I felt the need to chime in about.. I didn't raise my hand.. I just spoke, "It's part of our routine. Daddy does the massage.. Mommy takes care of the other two.." And I wasn't uncomfortable in sharing this. And the ladies in front of me were now nodding their heads as if they were in agreement. ??? And the famous Dr. Silva proclaimed, "Well THAT is okay." hahah, what?!? Interestingly enough - and I had honestly NEVER thought of this.. I couldn't count the number of times it was mentioned in those handful of questions about how the man has more control and is sometimes the best person to do the massage. I swear. Even she herself said it!

Anyway, I laugh to the point of tears when I think about that story. Which is good. Because I need something to laugh about.

At gymnastics a couple weeks ago I had to go out in the gym & do Judah's gymnastics with him.. not sure if I mentioned that one in here or not. The small crowd of parents got to watch me look like a total asshat jumping down the trampoline, trying to keep my balance. I haven't been on a trampoline since I was ten!! Of course that was a day that we brought the aide, the other 2 kids & Scott was there too. Might as well have sent out invitations to the spotlight on my awkwardness!

Seven years ago these kinds of things would have temporarily traumatized me (if there is such a thing). Something even less embarrassing than the gym thing happened to me when I was in my 20's and it bothered me for years. I was upset about that for YEARS. Maybe it was going into battle for my little boy with special needs.. a realized life-long battle & heartache.. maybe it's having 3 kids.. maybe it was giving birth.. maybe I became an adult at some point... I don't know. But somewhere along the way I stopped giving a shit. Did I ever talk about the time Judah pulled my shirt down in Wal-Mart? I pulled it back up, closed my jacket, muttered a curse word and continued waiting in the check-out line. Instead of being embarrassed about it, I shared the story with friends.. who all got a big laugh. I guess life events that would have been pure humiliation for me in the past have now blossomed into opportunities to spread laughter, and laughter feels incredible. Hopefully I'm somehow spreading the reminder that we are all human. And that honestly, nobody really gives a shit.. I promise.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Gramma & Sebastian Today - Written by Gramma

Post written by Gramma..

My printer isn't working so I will just email you how Sebastian did tonight. We read a book that we got him in WY about a chipmunk who lives in a museum. He learns how to figure out math concepts and recognize shapes in art. We did a few math problems in the book.  We walked over to the Hallie Ford museum as there's an exhibit that I think he'd like intending to do a math and word walk but it was closed for a class. We will try again on Wednesday.

Then we headed back to my office where we did some work on colors moving from English to Spanish. We worked on his N words and he wrote two sentences and read the other three, translating them from Spanish into English. Well done! 

We discussed the rule, "when two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking," to get him to understand "ee" and "ea" sounds. He did well! We began lesson 9 which introduces "ar" words and some new sight words. "You" is the big one. He traced it, repeated it, and then closed his eyes to photograph it into his mind. He said he'd photographed the picture of the girl sitting beside the word, too. HA.

He's getting good at filling in blanks to a sentence which teaches comprehension. He wrote two sentences in his home writing notebook. I kept the numbers book for Wednesday when we'll go at the math harder. His understanding of addition and subtraction is growing.

Supper at Pita Pit. He loves that place.

Karate was challenging! They did some complicated moves, kicked the punch bags, dropped to the floor and sprang up again, and must have been exhausted at the end. A real work out. One thing he might work on at home is "right," and "left." He kept getting confused. I thought he knew those pretty well so maybe it was just a mix up that threw him off a bit. But, he's probably one of the few in the group who've not been through the moves before and he did great. His other two patches are on order so when I get them, I'll sew all four on his second uniform.

Feel better everyone!! Hi Willow! Hi Judah!! love, Monka

Lone Survivor

Sebastian was sick the 6th & 7th.
Judah started getting sick yesterday (9th) and was sick all day today (the 10th).
Willow started getting sick on the 7th and was sick all day on the 8th.

After the second full day it seems to linger a bit. They all had fevers the first two days, were very tired, sore throats too.

Sebastian was out of control tonight. Scott was giving him positive attention, looking at the work he had done with Gramma today, etc. Then Sebastian got on Willow's ride-on toy (something he knows he isn't supposed to do - constantly doing this and it seems to be without him even realizing that he's doing it, constantly being told to get off of the toy). He was told to get off of the toy and then it quickly escalated into Sebastian riding on any toy he could find, making very loud noises/chants/songs & laughing hysterically.. Judah was on the floor not long after this began, covering his ears & crying. Scott pointed this out to Sebastian - nothing slowed down, Sebastian's behavior continued to escalate out of control. Sebastian later apologized to Daddy & Judah after he had been in his room calming down for a few minutes. "Judah I'm sorry that I was being so loud & scared you like a monster."

I've had a headache today. Scott was feverish yesterday & is starting to get better - missed work today. Willow seems much better. Sebastian spent 3pm on with Gramma - working on reading, etc. and then went to karate with them. We told the aide not to come in since Judah was sick. I forgot she only worked through early afternoon and that another aide came in at that time. The other aide called in - less than 10 minutes before her shift was to start - telling me that her mom was sick so she couldn't come in, and that she had heard Judah was sick anyway. Mom, Dad.. please let me know when you are sick in the future so I can call into work (if I am employed that is). I'm sure that must apply to in-law parents as well. ;) She's the same one who called in because she got her period. haha.

The past few days Judah has been carrying around one of his sign language books & reading it. He knows all of the signs in it by heart now. He also knows the flashcard signs (the cards go with the book). We need the next Signing Time books (Mom is looking into purchasing these). The next Signing Time dvds are needed as well - I found someone who might be able to help us out with that and it would be for free (just one Mom relating to another Mom's situation).

Sebastian's handwriting is improving a lot. His teacher is no longer sending home classwork for the following day. She hasn't been for weeks, not sure why. Maybe there are no sentences to send anymore?

I need to volunteer in Sebastian's class again very soon. During the field trip on Halloween the teacher & I discussed Sebastian's attention span. She told me that she could explain things in English repeatedly but Sebastian wouldn't do it until she showed him how - doing it herself. Then he would do a bit & then suddenly stare off into space. This made me sad.

Judah missed his massage tonight. He was pretty lethargic - has been all day. He drank a smoothie & ate a handful of Veggie Straws. He had apple sauce today as well. He missed his fish oil, nebulizer (still need gluta), folinic acid in shot (still need some), iron up & b-6 (I've been doing these 2 daily really well lately) and probably missed his beta. We are out of Miralax and in desperate need of some to get his bm's going daily. He usually has one every other day or daily - but has missed 2 days in a row lately  (a number of times). Only had pain 2 days (a couple weeks ago) and that was when we were out a lot. He is still pooping in diaper, wetting the bed every night (lake-size quantity) and going potty completely on his own (pee) every day, no prompting needed.

Judah had no bm.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Sick Sebastian

Today Willow, Judah & myself spent 2 hours trying to get out of the house. This isn't anything new. I literally had to lock myself in my bedroom just to get dressed.

Sebastian wasn't feeling well today - the school called me to go get him. I had Judah & Willow with me, so Scott offered to meet me at the school to help. Unfortunately Scott took forever to get there & I ended up just going in with the kids. Willow made it through the first school entrance door and then threw a fit because I wouldn't allow her to open the second door on her own. So she laid in the entryway, screaming & crying, while Judah walked up to the office, leaned over the counter and said something like, "Hi! What are you doing?" He was happy & very chatty! He took Sebastian's hand and walked him outside. I had to carry Willow out. The next meltdown happened at the van. Judah didn't understand that Sebastian was sick & we needed to go home. He refused to get in. Now he was kicking & screaming.. even on the ground in the parking lot at one point (rainy day). As I had finally almost gotten him into his car seat, I look over to see Scott driving up. I notice the front license plate hanging a bit sideways. He was late because he had gotten into a small fender-bender. He was fine, just upset.

Sebastian spent the rest of the day on the couch - feverish, tired & achy.

The massage therapist came over to show Scott J's massage study results (the amount of change in specific areas since we first began doing the massage). He wasn't there when she had brought them the first time. We all gave Judah a nice long massage. He nearly fell asleep! I'd never seen him melt away like that before during his massage - and quickly too!! The results were beautiful - but you would've guessed that I'm sure.

Judah had a phenomenal day, understanding so much & responding appropriately. He again asked me to watch Toy Story while he waited (for food), "Toy Story while wait?". He wanted his picture taken, posing & running back to see what the picture looked like on the camera. Willow & J were wrestling a lot today- hugging a lot, best friends forever. I told Judah to tell me what he wanted. I wanted him to say the full sentence. Typically I say the sentence first & he repeats it, but he just did it on his own today! Sometimes he says part of it, but today he just said it like he knew exactly what I was asking him to do - which he obviously did.

Some pics from today below. Sebastian was sad that he couldn't join in the jumping off the couch fun. He wanted me to take his picture but told me to wait until his tears "went back up", ha.


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Surrounded In Signing

Toy Story of Terror came on television recently. It pops up on cable around Halloween time. We DVRed it & Judah wants to watch it every day lately! He kept asking to see it when he got home from school, but I needed him to eat lunch so he could be ready to go when his aide arrived. He asked at another time too, but again it was time for him to be doing something else. He & Willow were waiting for me to make their dinner. I had let them know that was what I was doing. Judah came into the kitchen and said (probably incredibly determined to watch Toy Story at this point, haha), "Toy Story why waiting?" As Judah's mom I can tell you that his words were equivalent to - "Can we watch Toy Story while we are waiting?" It was unreal. I kissed him & praised him & immediately turned on Toy Story of Terror!!

I posted an "ISO" in a FB selling group tonight. ISO = In Search Of. My ISO was for ASL material. Never would I have guessed how many responses I would get! In about an hour's time a river of responses began to flood underneath my post. These were ideas, people offering to help, people offering ASL items, etc. The one person who had books to sell even came up with one she could give me for free when I told her I couldn't afford her books (they were college text books). From what I've heard & seen, there is a pretty large deaf community in the Salem area. Add to that people using sign language to communicate with their babies & people with various disabilities using sign language and you've probably got a fairly substantial amount of resources & help floating around nearby! The trick is to find it! Just like autism, there are people everywhere who are raising kids with autism.. but finding them is not easy by any means.

Below are some of the responses I received..

  • I has some sign kids and adults too in storage box
  • Yes they are expensive (Baby Sign Language) but keep an eye out as they do have deals and bundles often especially around the holidays. I think Netflix has some too now that you can stream...
  •  I know ASL and would be willing to help in anyway.
  • I am Deaf and have been using ASL for my whole life, let me know if you need help with anything. :)
  • Also Willamette education school district does have sign language teachers to visit babies to 5 yrs old at homes also help parents to learn too!
              ?!?!?!?! - my brain's response to the comment above
  • You might be able to check out the Signing Time videos at the public library.
  •  I have ABC poster but it tear down. I can give it to you free you can tape it together because I have extra poster. Also I saw sign language book at upon a child store few days ago
  • Once Upon A Child is a children's resale shop.
  • You tube also has lots signing times videos and ill PM you some more info
  • I don't know if you checked it out but netflix has a show called signing time geared towards kids
  •  Are you familiar with Camp Taloali? It's located right outside of Stayton on Hwy 22. It's a camp for deaf and hearing impaired students. The staff is super nice and they would probably be a wealth of resources as well as connecting you with other families who sign.
  • Oregon School for the Deaf, has all kinds of resources and can answer any questions you may have.
These folks were messaging me with ideas & info as well. One woman lives in our neighborhood, has taken 8 years of ASL classes & said she would be happy to help however she could. She has offered to give us some sign language dvds. She recommended music as well - even sharing the name of a lady in W. Salem that runs some type of music program that might be helpful for Judah. She highly recommended her.  

These people totally made my day.
Judah was signing to me in the van. One sign at a time, then he wanted me to say what he was signing. He was on probably the 6th sign and it was something I didn't know. A few guesses later he smiled, letting me know that I had finally guessed it. He is really getting it down!! I found some other sign language cards that we hadn't shown him yet. A friend had given them to me months ago. I had his aide work on those with him today. He really enjoyed them - there were lots of new signs! Although I'm not sure he'll need to use the sign for "mouse" or "horse" anytime soon, haha. Hopefully not the mouse anyway!!!
Sebastian had some behaviors last night & this morning. Scott & I are going crazy. After school Sebastian worked hard to stay calm. He got upset not long after he got home because of some confusion as to what I was asking him to do. It took a bit, & any other day it would have likely escalated out of control, but he worked hard to calm down & was able to move on & have a good rest of the day. He did his reading & sentences before karate & dinner. He pulled weeds in the garden. And he wasn't nearly as loco at bedtime as usual.
Willow has been using so many new sentences today. We were putting window clings on the playroom windows with the aide this afternoon. They were numbers, shapes & letters for the kids to use. Willow & Judah were sticking them on & Willow says.. "This is really hard." She continued on though, even after we had all left the room! She stayed in there for another 20 minutes! She told the aide, "Bye...(insert Chinese name here)." clear as day, twice!

Judah missed his shot last night since I went to bed early. It looks like Scott is doing the early bedtime tonight.

Judah didn't poop today (that I know of!). He missed his fish oil, nebulizer (we need to call again to see if they can fill gluta script yet). Scott did his skin rash med. J's rash isn't looking so good, hasn't gone away in a week or so. We may need to go back to dermatologist. We also need to start eye drops again. The eye doctor said his eye condition has improved a lot and told us to continue with what we were able to do (eye drops once a week). I can see his affected eye beginning to lose that strength as we haven't done it in so long.


Monday, November 3, 2014

Match Card!

Yes, I realize gaps are starting to form between blog posts. I feel really selfish about not blogging, but it does give me more time & ultimately makes for a happier Molly. There are days though, when writing makes me feel really good.. and on those days, I blog. Blogging every day is a struggle.. because once I start writing it's hard to stop.. and as I'm writing I'm reminded of other things that happened that day that would be good to include.. and then I go back and re-read what I've written.. and I correct things and add better descriptions.. and when it's all said & done, I've spent 3 hours of my night typing on a computer. 3 hours blogging about everything that happened that day.. which I've already lived, my kids have already lived.. we've all already lived. I want those 3 hours to connect with my husband, to do things that need to be done around the house, to come up with ideas on how to help each of my children enjoy life more.. which would obviously help them to progress more as well. I want to do art. That's one of the best feelings for me.. calmness, creativity, excitement, sharing.. I love art. I don't want to blog every day. I want to do art every day. And I honestly do feel like a selfish a-hole for not writing in here on a daily basis anymore. Blogging daily doesn't feel right to me.

My parents didn't blog when I was a kid. That didn't make my childhood memories disappear when I hit 30. It took over 3 hours to mow our damn lawn. Even if the internet had existed at that time, they wouldn't have had time to blog! My mom always had a long drive to & from work. And she worked late a lot. Blog time would not have happened for most people that had that lifestyle - but my mom has some kind of magical powers that allow her to work & work & work.. she has unexplainable motivation. She would have found blog time, somehow. She made books for each of us when we were little. We each had a story that she had written about us. I wonder where those ended up. My brothers & I went to work with my dad every day. We came home when he came home. He was our principal. That has nothing to do with blogging, I just felt like sharing. ;)

We went to J's gymnastics yesterday. From there we went to lunch.. and then to the Children's Museum. All of the kids went in for J's gymnastics. They weren't upset or jealous at all! Well, until I was asked to come in & help out. Then Willow got upset. She wanted to go too. Judah was having his first 1 on 1 session. We took the instructors advice and switched him to1:1. We'll try it for a couple months & then maybe go back to group. I'm pretty sure he was upset that his friends weren't there. He had many meltdowns. His aide had come with us. She went in to help. He started yelling for me. I was asked to go in. His instructor told me to jump down the long trampoline, then he would follow (like he did in his group class). Then I had to jump off the trampoline, jump into circles, etc. Ha. It was ridiculous!! Totally didn't see that one coming. She said we would try that for one more session & then see how it goes. She wants to do a social story for him and use me as the last step. So a picture of me would mean that it's time to go home. Man. I'm totally committed now. It's too bad I'm in ridiculously bad shape!

J's aide sat in the back with Sebastian (I offered her the front all day long, I swear!). She helped Sebastian work on his math all the way from Salem to Beaverton (gymnastics) and then from gymnastics to McDonald's in Beaverton and then from McDonald's to the Children's Museum in Portland and then all the way back to Salem! He got frustrated one time (that I saw/heard). She praised him a lot & showed him different ways to do math problems, different ways to think. And he was learning. They had at least 3 notebook pages front & back overflowing with math. His answers were correct the majority of the time on those pages. It was pretty awesome. He was able to teach her a little Spanish throughout the math time as well. This morning I walked into the living room to find the aide again helping Sebastian with his math.. probably for a good half an hour. He was completely dressed (usually this happens after breakfast & isn't a smooth process). She helped him make his breakfast.

Sebastian told me that it was cold inside his school today. "It was like an ice box in there!" He said, "I thought about getting really angry so I could get hot." ha! I told him that wasn't a very good way to get warm. He replies very seriously, "I've done it before." ??! ha!

After school I rewarded Sebastian with some math dry-erase flashcards that I had recently bought. He was happy. Each card has 10 math problems on it. Immediately upon opening them, he made his way through about 7 cards, answering every problem on each card. When he wasn't doing problems right, I would explain how to do them & then ask him for the answer. He would give me the correct answer & then go on to correct his other problems. Not a fuss at all. When he is interested in something & wants to do something, he gives it his all. He must have the same mystery motivation gene that Gramma has. Not long ago, he wanted to learn how to use the pogo-stick. He would be outside on it, wearing his bike helmet & bouncing around the front yard at 7 in the morning every single day, until he finally mastered it. Sebastian is going to do something for J's aide to thank her - I'm trying to help him come up with an idea. He was able to stay focused for over an hour at a time with her. It was insane. I doubt she knows how unbelievable that was. With us he gets frustrated easily & distracted every 10 minutes or sooner.. and obviously progress isn't going to be much at that rate.

Today Judah's aide worked with him on matching. He hadn't seen this matching game in probably a year? The last time I had tried it with him he didn't seem to understand the concept of matching - he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Instead he would pick out a few of the cards (they all have trains on them) and study them. This usually lasted for about 10 mins max. She videotaped him matching today. He did it with EASE and was enjoying it! Even stranger, she was holding her phone right in front of him, recording him & he wasn't bothered one bit! She even warned him beforehand that she was going to video him. Typically he avoids cameras, looks away, walks away. It's just something that makes him really uncomfortable. You would never see him having fun with a video camera a foot away from his face.. and even looking into it from time to time! But today that was the case. And the matching trains (which were different but still all trains, not really that easy to do quickly) was unreal. He did it quickly. She had a lot of the cards out at once and still it didn't phase him. Link below.

Tim, Erin & "my Olive" (as Willow calls her) left yesterday. They were here for a few days. We spent time with Olive at the Children's Museum where they were still doing the Wizard of Oz theme. She had a blast - especially with the make-up! Dave, Mom, Scott, myself & the aide were all there & it was still difficult to keep up with the kids!! We were continuously trying to make sure we had them all in sight & that they were all safe. Five adults & only FOUR kids!

The kids got to trick-or-treat with their cousin Olive, uncle Tim & aunt Erin. I'll throw in some costume pics below.

Sebastian started his black belt classes today. He was one of 3 kids in his basic class asked to move up to the black belt classes. He is enjoying it & doing really well! It's 3 years of work to get to black belt. There's no doubt in my mind that he will keep up with it & do well.

Judah has been getting his supplements & nightly Qigong massage. We are still out of folinic acid and aren't able to get the beta in every day (but we have been lately!!). He has been having some constipation issues again. He was in pain yesterday & the day before (but we were also out & about a lot, doing exciting things, so he was likely holding in what needed to come out). Today he was home with his aide all day. No pain before bowel movement and it came quickly.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Doggy Turned Princess

J's gymnastics instructors have recommended that he change to a 1:1 class, as opposed to his usual group class. It's been a month & his instructor is still spending too much time redirecting & instructing him, while trying to make sure all of the kids are safe at the same time. Obviously this is not fair to the other kids, they don't get their fair share of attention and help. They might as well be his siblings. His teachers believe he needs one-on-one to learn how to follow directions. However, the group gives him the social piece, which he needs as well. It's hard to read a surprise email from your kid's teacher that begins with them listing any & all strengths they can think of about your kid, because you know the end isn't going to be any good. It's not really bad news. My heart just breaks a little for him every time we are told things like this.

We had an exchange student when I was little, Kindergarten age I think. She lived with us for a year in a small Missouri town. She was high school age. She attended high school while she was living with us. She was from Japan. Our family kept in touch with her after she went back to Japan. She was part of our family. Years later she came back to live with us for an extended amount of time again. She started teaching English when she went back home to Japan. She posted yesterday on Facebook pieces of her history that she wanted to share & document. It was seriously interesting. I felt like I was reading the storyline of a good movie. She posted old photos of family members as well. That post began with her saying that she didn't think she would live much longer. She says she can hardly walk. She's been sick for some time, but I don't think any of us realized how bad it was. Even though we've been able to reconnect & keep in touch through Facebook, I still had no clue that her illness was this bad. Of course I commented on her post yesterday telling her that I loved her & how special she is to me & my family. She responded, she said our generosity & love were what had made her time with us so great. She added that she knew I was raising a kid with special needs and she explained how he was put into this world for a reason. Her thought was that he disrupts the cycle we are all accustomed to & helps to free our minds - so true. She chose to hand me strength in her time of huge weakness. She openly gave me love to carry with me into the future. The entire time I was reading her post I never pictured her crying or sad. Instead I pictured her telling a story.. which I'm sure would make her happy. She has been forced to give up control of her life little by little, yet she continues to be gracious, open & very loving... She's such a beautiful person.

I made a video of one of J's aide doing his signing flashcards with him. He's almost got those down. Unfortunately he decided to stop signing when I began recording. He still told her what the card said though. After signing a dozen cards or more, he just decided eating was a much better use of his hands.

I've taken Willow out a few times in the past 2 days. We finally have chunks of Mommy/daughter time & it's no fun!! She runs away, slides around on grocery floors, throws random items into the cart.. yesterday she took gloves out of the cart that I was going to buy for her costume (and Judah's!). I didn't realize she had done this until we got back home. Then I had a sudden flash back of those gloves laying on the floor in the sewing aisle. She seems to run farther away each time we go somewhere. I'm literally running, every single time, yelling her name. I look like a fkn crazy person, while she is smiling & laughing.. running down the sidewalk at the edge of a busy parking lot.. or running in & out of aisles at a store.. sometimes I can't see her & have to search.. it's awful. She loves to chat in the car & really enjoys her Mommy/daughter time at home, but if I want to go anywhere it seems to be pretty much guaranteed that her mind is set on going for a run.

The trash was supposed to go out last night. I came home from the store with Willow and saw the trash truck as it passed by our house. "Sh**!!!" Our trash was overflowing, we couldn't wait a week for them to come back. I was going to run after him & flag him down.. after all that's what I do, run & yell.. only this time after a trash truck not a 2 year old little girl. But I was tired of running & yelling. Although the truck was out of sight now, after turning left and heading towards our street's dead-end, I knew that he would come back in our direction & pick up the trash on the other side of the street. I grabbed our trash can and dashed across the street! I put it right in front of our neighbor's house (a cop no less) & ran fast as lightening back to our side of the street. Willow & I stood & watched & waited. The truck was heading towards our trash.. it slowed down and then passed it! As if he knew what I had just done. ?!?! He stopped 7 feet later, to pick up the neighbor's GREEN trash can (the one that you fill with grass & leaves). He wasn't the trash truck! Ugh!!!! I ran across the street again, grabbed our trash can and flew back to our side of the street with it.

Thirty seconds later I look down our street to see that another trash truck was headed towards our dead end! There were two!! Once again, I grabbed our trash can & dashed over to the cop's house as fast as I could. Then I ran back to our side of the street. I stood with Willow, who didn't know what the he** I was doing, ha. Thankfully, THAT truck got our trash. As soon as the truck was out of sight I ran across the street... again grabbed our trash can.. and ran it back to our house. I'm sure that was some good entertainment for the old couple across the street. They keep an eye out.

Judah's aide (the gorgeous musician) took him to McDonald's to play. Rainy day. She said he did really well. She thought she would brave the mall with him. His last time there was not good at all, she knew that. She had never gone to the mall with him before. Her eyes were so big when she told me, "He was sooo good!" As if she couldn't believe it, haha. She said, "At one point my hands were really full and I dropped a cup. He ran over to get it, picked it up and brought it back to me!" haha. She said he would look at displays, sometimes pick up items and then set them right back down. They stood on the sky bridge where he counted cars passing underneath them & told her "person" when he saw someone walking below. He pointed at the "person" when he said that. She asked him what color things were. She said he got all but one right.. he said blue when she thought it was more of a purple, haha. So super good outing for him!

Sebastian & I read, "Bear Snores On". I love books that have a rhythm, books that have good rhyming. I read it to him like a crazed rap star. He found that pretty entertaining. After that he read really well, trying to go back & rap out the sentences he had just read! It was fun. We read that book twice in a row!

Well, Willow seems to have chosen princess over  doggy. Ugh!!! I went through 3 managers & tons of waiting at Wal-Mart last night to purchase a yard and a half of fabric that I was going to use for her doggy costume. Of course during all of this waiting there was lots of fun to be had for Willow. At one point I turned around and she had somehow opened a SEALED bottle of bright orange paint and was holding it in her hand, looking into it with wonder. I grabbed it quickly!! Of course she ran away too... numerous times. And laid on the floor, and slid on the floor and crawled on the floor. It's like payback, but I'm not sure what for. The lady that cut the fabric couldn't get it to scan. I had to wait on a manager. When I got to the front of the store I realized that they hadn't tagged the fabric, it had no price! We had to wait on another manager.. she finally arrived. She then walked the fabric to the back of the store where I had found it. She took much time trying to figure things out. She came back & punched in the total.. which was wrong. She had to walk to the back of the store again.. it was ridiculous. We were standing for so long my back was starting to hurt and the cashier was trying to come up with conversation because I was standing 2 feet in front of him for so damn long.

So yeah, now Willow wants to be a princess. I have items that I could use to make her into a forest fairy. To her, wearing a dress makes you a princess, so she'll still be a princess. This costume will give me more room to expand my creativity. I just wish I would have had more notice that she was going to change her 2 year old little mind!!!!

Judah did not poop today. He did poop the past two days though (yesterday small & the day before that an explosion all over the playroom). The explosion was directly following 2 days of no pooping.

Judah missed nebulizer, folinic acid in injection, powder b-6 & iron-up. He had 2 doses of Miralax.