Sunday, April 6, 2014

How To Handle A Meltdown??

Judah just stood in Willow's doorway and said to me, "Mommy, I wanna bath." I responded in a quick & casual manner, "Judah it's time for night night right now." He smiled, he knew I had understood him. I think responding casually & giving him real answers can often be much more effective than making a huge deal about his progress every time - but I still have a celebration of fireworks happening in my head! I heard many "I want" sentences today.

Judah was so upset about having to go potty, it took a long time to coax him into getting up & walking to the bathroom. Once there, he did sit on the potty, but had already told me during the walk that he wanted a bath. He really wanted to take his Thomas toy into the tub. Being allowed to bring the toy was what got him to the bathroom, so obviously his bath plan was already in place. This toy has a big shark head on the top of it. Once he realized there was no way I was going to let him put his big shark toy in the tub, he gave it a name, calling it "Sharkie". Then the "I want bath" sentences came clearly. Progress does usually get him what he wants.. obviously he has picked up on that! But what was interesting, amazing & again very clever of him was the "I want...." sentences because the blank part of that sentence was filled with sounds - he was trying to say new things!

I'm not sure how to handle Judah's meltdowns anymore. There are so many "right" and "wrong" ways to handle meltdowns. I don't want to pick him up because I don't want him to expect that. So I wait, and wait.. and wait. Do I let him take his toys? Do I walk away (giving him what our teacher calls a reverse time-out)? Does ignoring the siblings really help? I'm thinking including them may bring an aspect of normal to the situation & might actually help. Do we keep the same strategy in public? Do I remove whatever he is enjoying & focused on? Or does that matter? I don't know!!!!!!!!!!! What makes it more impossible is that each kid is different, so different. They won't all react to the same strategies in the same way.

I let Judah take a bath when he was supposed to be getting ready to go to the store. He had gone potty and then told me, "I want bath". I said, "Quick bath?" and he repeated back, "quick bath". He wanted to play with his water car. I filled the tub partially thinking it would make his car work better & also get him out quicker. He said to me.. "I want....." The blank space was filled with mumblings & sounds as he pointed to the water spigot. I couldn't believe it. Yes, he got more water. He put his feet on the side of the tub & his upper body over the other side & said, "bridge!" When it was time to get out he screamed & cried saying, "no!!" Then he got back into bridge position and said, "bridge!!" as if to say, "Look! We were having fun, remember???" I couldn't do it. I had to have Scott come in. I want to reward his progress - giving him what he is asking for is usually great, but when what he wants can't be given it feels like I am pushing back his progress or maybe he feels I am not acknowledging or understanding it. Again, it's really hard to figure this stuff out!!!!!

As the big meltdown happened today, Sebastian tried to help. He came up with the idea of letting Judah bring his toy - which was what got him to the bathroom. I had made it clear to Sebastian that he needed to go elsewhere so Judah wouldn't be distracted - when really, Sebastian had the answer I needed!

Tonight Judah looked up at me & asked me if he could give James (the train) his fish oil. I didn't know what he was saying, it sounded like "up". I shook my head and said, "up". He took that as me giving him permission. He began to pour his fish oil on top of James - I rapidly stopped him. To him, that was clear communication. And I can totally see why. He's trying & not scared to do so - I'm so happy to see that. The overwhelming amount of frustration he must feel day in & out as no one understands him seems to have pushed him into not trying as hard. That's why praise is so important and keeping him working/learning.. as he continues he will be confident in trying & taking more risks. And we have to try harder too - in many ways.

Scott brought me breakfast in bed this morning- French gluten-free toast! Ahhh.. heaven. And the kids didn't even try to eat it! Of course though, they were already stuffed from their late Sunday morning breakfasts. Later Scott took all of the kids to the store with him to do the weekly grocery shopping - which unfortunately went sour. He brought them home before the shopping trip was even complete. Apparently Sebastian accidentally hitting Scott in the head with a freezer door was the last straw.

This morning I asked Willow if she had a waffle in her mouth (after she had just eaten). The other day she pointed inside her mouth - I asked her what was inside & she said "waffle". Instead of responding or even opening her mouth this time, she thought for a minute. Then she stuck her little tongue out & sucked it very quickly back into her mouth, making a slurping sound as she did this. Scott & I were laughing so hard.

Judah's sleep med still doesn't seem to be working. We'll be on the 3rd trial soon (a different sleep med). Thank goodness.

B-12 shot will be given tonight. THIS WAS NOT DONE.

I hung big, green, paper flowers/snowflakes from Willow's ceiling this evening. Willow didn't notice them until she was lying on her back while I changed her diaper. Judah & Scott never noticed, but it didn't take Sebastian long to see them. Usually kids are quick to spot anything big & fun like that, and they are always looking up at us because we are taller.. but apparently they don't look all the way up to the ceiling very often.

We had a family dinner tonight - Scott barbecued brats, chicken & hot dogs. Willow has hardly been eating at all today - she either eats by the handful or eats nothing.

I forgot to mention that yesterday I asked Judah to bring in the lunch bag from the van. I pointed to it a few times. I've asked him to do this task many, many times & he almost never does. But yesterday he did! He's also brought in his backpack when asked recently too!

I ordered Sebastian 2 pairs of new shoes tonight. He bolts around like a fireball - his shoes definitely tell that story. He's going through them quickly.

Judah had 1 tablespoon (one dose) of the doctor prescribed L-carnitine. He had 2 doses of Docusate Sodium, 2000 i.u. vitamin d, three tablets 125 mg folinic acid with b-12, fish oil and no probiotic or nose drops (waiting to do lab). He had 2 doses of Miralax. He had one bowel movement. He took the  sleep supplement - Cortisol Manager, before bed. He also takes 1/2 a pill of Bethanechol in the morn & 1/2 in the afternoon - I have been forgetting to include that!! He takes 25 mg total (one pill). He took that today. Dr. Greene says this pill works the speech part of the brain - which we are seeing.

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